I bet this is the reason . . .

. . . that I don’t have a girlfriend. We were clearing out our linen cupboard and, right at the back, we found this:

I didn’t recognise it at first, but my sister said I used to use it when I went swimming as a kid. Of course I denied it hotly, except . . . I think she may be telling the truth. I don’t have a great memory, and it is starting to become hauntingly familiar . . . . What kind of towel is this to give a young man (well, little boy??) I must be deeply emotionally scarred somehow.